”’They have a great young core of players with James Harden and Jeremy Lin, so I’d obviously love the chance to go shatter their chemistry and tear the entire locker room apart,’ said Howard, adding that he would ‘relish the opportunity’ to totally undermine Rockets head coach Kevin McHale.”

Pistons Lose To Elementary School Girls Team After Big Night From 4’9” Center | The Onion
“’Sometimes it’s simply a matter of having the best player on the court, and that’s exactly what that little girl was tonight,’ Pistons coach Lawrence Frank told reporters after the game, adding that double teams made little difference against the aggressive, ponytailed 10-year-old.”

Pistons Lose To Elementary School Girls Team After Big Night From 4’9” Center | The Onion

“’Sometimes it’s simply a matter of having the best player on the court, and that’s exactly what that little girl was tonight,’ Pistons coach Lawrence Frank told reporters after the game, adding that double teams made little difference against the aggressive, ponytailed 10-year-old.”

'After examining Bosh's test results, I have to say that this comeuppance for unbounded hubris will certainly keep Bosh out for the rest of the playoff series against Indiana, if not longer,' Heat physician Dr. Harlan Selesnick said. 'Unfortunately, no matter how fitting it may be, this is exactly the kind of cosmic, karmic punishment the team can't afford at this time.'

"Um, so now what?" Bogut said, clutching the ball to prevent it from accidentally bouncing on the floor. "Man, this thing is really round. Should I be rolling it somewhere? Wow, coach is doing his angry jumping. Is he pointing at me? He is, but I definitely have shoes on this time. Oh, I think he’s signaling me to waste another timeout."