Steve, leave me alone.
HAHAHA MARV ALBERT SO COLD TO STEVE KERR
Meet Filomena Tobias, the Heat fan who gave Joakim Noah the finger
She’s now twice as famous, and this time it doesn’t involve murder accusationsOh, she sounds like an absolute ray of sunshine.
Well, I guess she’s no “studio gangster”…
What do you get when you combine the usual insane stories from Florida with a woman who marries for money? You get this lady. Check it:
Tobias is the widow of hedge fund manager and CNBC contributor Seth Tobias. Mr. Tobias, her fourth husband, was found dead in the swimming pool of his Jupiter, Florida mansion in 2007. Stop here if you want “mere decadence,” and do not want to hit the throttle and soar into “purely Floridian insanity,” because that is where it is headed.
- In just one moment from their rocky marriage, Mrs. Tobias bought a Porsche on a credit card. (And then had to return it at the insistence of her husband.)
- Mrs. Tobias once allegedly tested her husband for cocaine use like this: “Just after sitting down, Phyllis jumped from her seat and placed her lips over Tobias’s nose and began sucking. She was searching for cocaine residue.”
- Mrs. Tobias was accused by an internet psychic of killing her husband.
- Was accused by that same internet psychic specifically of doing that by luring him into the pool by promising him “a sexual liaison with a gay porn star–exotic dancer who went by the name Tiger because of the tiger stripes he had tattooed on his body.”
- All of this was pursued in court by Tobias’ family, who was cut out of his will by Florida law in favor of Mrs. Tobias. (Under Florida law, a murder inconveniently voids certain parts of a will if it can be shown that the chief beneficiary had an active role in becoming that beneficiary sooner than nature intended.) She was cleared by the court, and is now filthy rich enough to have excellent seats for Miami Heat games.
- According to her daughter, upon seeing her mother: “I have to stay she still looks really hot.”
Noah is no longer fond of Miami as a vacation spot…
Leather-faced fair-weather fans. Miami fans should be embarrassed of having these yacht club members represent them.
The Madhouse on Madison shall be where the streak is buried
The Chicago Bulls, with no Joakim Noah, no Derrick Rose, and no Marco Belinelli, just beat your streaking world champions.
Can’t sleep on a raging bull, baby.
Turning the lights off in dixie.
Oh fuck. Those poor, silly teams who stole the home court advantage from the Bulls during the Jordan years only to see it short lived.
Gave me shivers.
I think LeBron is at the point of his skill where he can start doing this sort of thing. Where he just fucking OWNS ASS and then does some kinda badass taunt or small celebration just to emphasize how easy it was.
I mean, maybe wait until he wins a second ring. But if it means I’d get to see Skip Bayless’ head explode on live TV the day after, I’m all in. In fact, I’m more than all in, I’d be the project coordinator. I’d win a Nobel Peace Prize or some shit.
Yeah…
Yeah.
Great view for all the Heat’s dunks.
GOING TO LAKERS-HEAT TONIGHT!
Expect some live-tweeting about the annoying fans (too rabid/not rabid enough), which two of the Lakers big four will actually play, and how many overpriced beers it will take before I try to fight a celebrity.
What do you think about this Dwyane Wade kick to Ramon Sessions’ groin?
I think both you and I knew Dwyane Wade was and is a douchebag.
I think it’s extremely unfortunate that two of the best ballers to come out of Chicago (the other is KG) are complete assholes.
I think it’s unbelievably petty that an aging player on the best team in the NBA decides to literally kick a man from one of the worst teams while he’s down. Ramon Sessions doesn’t deserve that shit.
No wonder Dwyane needs his own stylist to dress him. The man clearly has no class on his own. No amount of NBA Cares commercials can change that, either.
Fifteen-year old Mike Miller?!
TELL ME YOU DON’T SEE THAT MOTHERFUCKER
Stern Promises Sanctions Against Spurs, Apologizes To Fans
“I apologize to all NBA fans. This was an unacceptable decision by the San Antonio Spurs and substantial sanctions will be forthcoming.”
Y’know I wish I could say this was unbelievable, but in reality, it’s all too believable. Everybody was making jokes about Stern fining Pop and the Spurs for giving his guys a rest during a huge nationally televised game against the Heat. Now to see our jokes play out in real life, I gotta say, it’s not that funny.
It’s a damn crime, is what it is. So Pop wants to rest some of his players? Fine. If this was against the Pistons on a locally-televised game on a Tuesday, Stern wouldn’t give a shit. These days, he’s so transparent, you can see clear through his ribcage and peer at his cold, rotting, greedy black heart. David Stern is actively hurting this league, now.
What really bothers me is that Gregg Popovich and the Spurs organization did nothing wrong. Nothing! What kind of message does it send to players and coaches when you fine a team for trying to keep its players healthy? In the mind of David Stern, a dollar in his wallet is more important than the players, the human fucking beings, who make it for him. Absolutely wretched. #ImpeachStern
