doubleclutch
I’ve had this window open for about two hours, thinking about what I wanted to write about DMC. Take away his personality, his mind, his troubles, and he’s an all-star player. Or maybe he wouldn’t be, because he’d get less minutes on any team other than the hideous Kings.
He’s been averaging a pretty double-double this season, yet he is a constant subject of trades and can’t get out of the doghouse with his coach. This isn’t a Brook Lopez situation, where injuries force trade talk. This isn’t even a mid-2000s Artest situation, where it’s personality and personality alone that forces talk.
This is a player with a personality that doesn’t mesh well with his coach. That coach is a former interim coach who keeps finding himself heading up terrible teams. The team he coaches is owned by two billionaire dipshits who aren’t even trying to hide the fact that they’re trying to move the team to a bigger market. Oh wait, scratch that. Not a bigger market. No, they’re just selling the team to the highest bidder, because if we’re going to get into a discussion about whether Sacramento or VIRGINIA BEACH has a larger market, then we’re really wasting our New Year’s, aren’t we? The team that has been assembled is disgusting. Imagine a very athletic blob of mucus and pus that is all-too-aware of its situation, and realizes there’s no point in making any use of the talent it has. That’s your Sacramento Kings.
DeMarcus Cousins is an abnormal player in an abnormal situation, which invariably makes everyone look worse than they actually are. I’m excited for DeMarcus Cousins on his second team. Worked for fucking Andray Blatche, didn’t it?

I’ve had this window open for about two hours, thinking about what I wanted to write about DMC. Take away his personality, his mind, his troubles, and he’s an all-star player. Or maybe he wouldn’t be, because he’d get less minutes on any team other than the hideous Kings.

He’s been averaging a pretty double-double this season, yet he is a constant subject of trades and can’t get out of the doghouse with his coach. This isn’t a Brook Lopez situation, where injuries force trade talk. This isn’t even a mid-2000s Artest situation, where it’s personality and personality alone that forces talk.

This is a player with a personality that doesn’t mesh well with his coach. That coach is a former interim coach who keeps finding himself heading up terrible teams. The team he coaches is owned by two billionaire dipshits who aren’t even trying to hide the fact that they’re trying to move the team to a bigger market. Oh wait, scratch that. Not a bigger market. No, they’re just selling the team to the highest bidder, because if we’re going to get into a discussion about whether Sacramento or VIRGINIA BEACH has a larger market, then we’re really wasting our New Year’s, aren’t we? The team that has been assembled is disgusting. Imagine a very athletic blob of mucus and pus that is all-too-aware of its situation, and realizes there’s no point in making any use of the talent it has. That’s your Sacramento Kings.

DeMarcus Cousins is an abnormal player in an abnormal situation, which invariably makes everyone look worse than they actually are. I’m excited for DeMarcus Cousins on his second team. Worked for fucking Andray Blatche, didn’t it?