Cleveland Cavaliers coach, Byron Scott, appears to be squeezing just a bit too hard in this photo as Kyrie Irving collected his Rookie of the Year hardware.
AP Photo/Mark Duncan
“You ain’t gonna leave me now, are ya boy?”
“N-no sir.”
“You don’t like warm weather, right? Don’t own enough sunscreen, do ya?”
“No sir, no I don’t.”
“You have enough money, doncha? You don’t need that second pool do ya?”
“No sir. I swim enough sir.”
Reblogging myself for all the people too busy openly weeping and doing cocaine due to the Knicks loss.
I’m making the bold presumption all New Yorkers love cocaine because the only New York I know is the one I see in Martin Scorsese movies and that one episode of The Simpsons that they can never show again because it has the World Trade Towers as, like, the main setting for the plot.
What were we talking about?
(Source: ballershots)
Grant: You guys really don’t remember me? I mean, I know I was injured for a while, but come on! It’s me, Grant! Shawn, we played against each other in All-Star games!
Shawn: Did we do blow together?
Grant: No.
Shawn: Then not only do I not remember you, you are not worth my time.
Tracy: So let me get this straight, you’re the crippled kid we gave a jersey to?
Grant: No!
Tracy: Do you want me to sign your jers-
Grant: NO!
(for the record, this post was HILARIOUS in 2003)
This guy is the one shutting down Rudy Gay.
Unbelievable. I mean, look at him. That shirt/shades/gold watch combo makes him look like a cokehead from 1977! Like, a rich coke fiend, y’know? Like he could do backing vocals for Stevie Wonder back in the day.
(Source: jeskeets)
In case you’re not following Baller Shots, you should do so right now. I’ll wait.
Did you follow him? Good.
The guy isn’t writing all day every day like I foolishly—and poorly, I might add—do during the playoffs. His sporadic posting is what makes his blogging even more impressive.
Follow his predictions for the 2012 NBA playoffs. You’ll laugh a helluva lot more than when you read me.
Lies. Reckless lies. My bro here, FuckYeaNBA, is better than this blogosphere deserves. His post rate is insane, and they’re thorough posts, too. I could post that many too, except in case you haven’t seen, like, 99% of my posts, it’s basically NBA Memes if NBA Memes dropped out of grad school, smoked a lot of pot, and did nothing but watch basketball and Patrick Swayze movies (seriously, have you guys seen Youngblood?). FYNBA basically is your one-stop shop for NBA analysis on a 24 hour basis. It’s actually scary. I don’t know where he gets the time.
But since you’re on Tumblr and following the both of us (right? Right.) you may want to check out these guys too:
- NBA Off-Season - One of the first blogs I followed when I joined Tumblr. They have a crack team of guys who are great at analysis and guys who clearly just know what to post and when to post it. Respeck, mah brahs.
- Hakeem Mutombo - One of my favorite “artifact blogs”. Just posting pictures that make you go “Oh I miss that so much.” Right, Vince?
- Indie Basketball - Basketball players inserted into indie bands. It’s perfect, and another blog that makes me wish I knew photoshop better.
- Faces of Thibs - aka what I see at night out of the corner of my eye when I try to sleep.
- Mutombo Jr. - Hey, remember that time you stumbled upon that site with all those cool jersey designs from the past and present? That’s this guy. He did that.
- 24 Seconds - This blog would not exist without this guy. I don’t know how to express how appreciative I am of 24 Seconds for posting the pictures that I reblog on an (almost) daily basis. And the best part is, he just does it for himself. He just loves the game, so he keeps track of the pics. Love ‘em.
- Double Scribble - Drawings of NBA Players. They’re good, too! Also shout-out to this guy for the fantasy league we were in together. Let’s do it again soon.
- Hipster or Athlete - Granted, while he covers sports other than basketball, there’s few blogs truer than this one.
- NBA Doppelgängers - Never wrong. Never wrong about any of these. Another perfect blog.
- Craig Sager’s Suits - Just as it sounds, and just as funny.
- Hoop Dreams - Another great artifact blog. Nothin’ but good stuff.
- Fat Shawn Kemp - Cards. Oh the cards. As someone who still has six LARGE bins of random sports cards at my parent’s house, I really appreciate this blog.
- Pick and Roll - Artifacts. Important ones, too. Wish they posted more :’(
- NBA Hoot - I can seriously say that I have never seen anything on this site prior to its posting. Funny and weird stuff.
- Kicks on Cards - “Your Jordans are fucked up!”
- Got ‘em, Coach - The only blog I can’t follow because of how jealous I get. Also, Toledo shout out.
Then there’s excellent blogs like Up North Trips, The Grand Archives, Day of the Dreamweavers, and Ballerism, who, while they don’t exclusively deal in baller material, should have every single one of their posts in a museum somewhere. They’re the true documentarians.
Basically, I just wanted to thank all of the blogs I’ve ever reblogged, and every single one of my 800+ followers for being here. Tumblr has kinda changed my life, and I wouldn’t be the fan, the blogger, nor the man I am today without y’all.
(Oh, and if any of you are ladies, let me know so I can change the him’s to her’s above. I sometimes forget it’s not all guys blogging from a couch.)
EDIT: AUGH. Forgot Russ Bengtson and J.E. Skeets! Follow them on twitter, too.
Indiana Pacers VS. Orlando Magic
Preview
The Indiana Pacers are a well-oiled team in the mold of the Sixers; except, where the Sixers faltered in the season’s second half, the Pacers exploded. Danny Granger found his shot (and his confidence); Roy Hibbert continued to improve; David West has added some much—needed toughness (remember, he knocked out the Cavs mascot); Paul George let everyone know he has an all-star birth on the horizon; George Hill supplanting Darren Collison in the starting unit meant more ball movement to start the game and infused the 2nd unit with Collison’s quickness and scoring. They have been on a tear down the stretch and it means they’re matched-up against possibly the worst team to make the playoffs.
Dwight Howard is gone. Not for the reasons everyone thought before the trade deadline, but because of a herniated disc in his back (back injuries are the knee injuries of 2012). Because of Howard’s absence, the Magic have basically nothing in the way of defense. Despite Howard’s childish behavior with Stan Van Gundy and the people of Orlando, he was everything they needed to defend the rim. Look for the Howard-less Magic to get lit up most nights by the well-balanced Pacers attack. Sure, they’ll hit some 3’s to keep some games close, and they’ll steal a game at home when new top-dog Ryan Andersen goes off, but it’s a far cry from what they could have been if Howard had stayed healthy (that he stayed in Orlando at all, is a minor miracle).
Head to Head this season - Magic won 3-1 (but Howard played in all 4 games)
Prediction
Pacers in 5
Schedule
Game 1 - Sat. April 28, Orlando at Indiana, 7 p.m./4 p.m., ESPN
Game 2 - Mon. April 30, Orlando at Indiana, 7:30 p.m./4:30 p.m., NBA TV
Game 3 - Wed. May 2, Indiana at Orlando, 7:30 p.m./4:30 p.m., NBA TV
Game 4 - Sat. May 5, Indiana at Orlando, 2 p.m./11 a.m., ESPN
Game 5 * Tue. May 8, Orlando at Indiana, TBD
Game 6 * Fri. May 11, Indiana at Orlando, TBD
Game 7 * Sun. May 13, Orlando at Indiana, TBD
I love this Pacers team. And I hate this Magic team. I’m really not even sure how the Magic win as many games as they do with one of the shittiest rosters in the league. Teams should not be built out of white guys who shoot threes. That’s not good foundation for a house, that’s extra stuff, like a colorful shower curtain, or some stained glass hanging in the window. Add in a couple of the world’s worst point guards (hey Chris Duhon) and a litany of big men who have no idea how to play like big men (although putting 6’9” Big Baby at center doesn’t help) and you got yourself a real shit sandwich. You know what the Magic should do? Get rid of everybody. Every single player. There is not one player on this team worth keeping. Not one. We can fault Dwight Howard for being an asshole all we want, because he is, but the rest of the team is full of assholes too! You have well-known asshole J.J. Redick, a guy who only plays when he feels emotionally up to it in Jameer Nelson, the guy who likes going to clubs when he has “the flu” Hedo Turkoglu (rhyming not intentional), and the previously mentioned Chris Duhon, who I thought had been kicked off the team no less than twice this season. I could be imagining things, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.
Then look at the Pacers. This is a team that DESERVES to no longer be humble. They’re good! Real good! David West is like that sixth man who can do it all, except you can start him and he’ll still be good! Danny Granger got his swag back, Paul George is a revelation, and Dr. Hibbert is chuckling all the way to Pawnee. I know that’s not a comment on his game, but I love the guy. Throw in a still-getting-better Darren Collison, and you got yourself a stew goin’.
Prediction
Pacers in 5
Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now. We got a real jam going down…
Alternate caption: “Guess he’s Dikembe Meowtumbo!” I would then proceed to blow my fucking brains out.
(Source: ta-ble)
Los Angeles Lakers VS. Denver Nuggets
Preview
The Denver Nuggets are a team. George Karl and the Nuggets management made certain of that when they dealt Carmelo Anthony to New York in exchange for a bevy of underrated talent (led by Italian sensation, Danilo Gallinari). As such, they’ll win or lose this series as a team. George Karl couldn’t be happier about this development, but it’s not going to be easy moving forward. They’re facing a team that’s on it’s last legs, and could be rife with passionate fury because of it. Never fight an injured dog; especially when it has its back to the
wallbasket. The Nuggets back-court might just destroy the Lakers (even with the addition of Ramon Sessions). Aaron Afflalo has been excellent in the homestretch, and Ty Lawson makes me tired just by watching him zoom up and down the court. Kenneth Faried is my new NBA crush, and his enthusiasm for the dirty work makes me think George Karl actually smiles some days. The return of Gallinari from injury and the addition of JaVale McGee down low, means this all-around squad is perfect for George Karl. They just have to play some defense. Hell hath no fury than a George Karl-coached team that fails in its defensive rotations.Kobe Bryant has somehow turned me into a fan this season. He’s made his way through a ridiculous schedule to give the Lakers a 3 seed before sitting down the last couple weeks to rest up for the playoffs. We’ll see if it works, but the loss of MWP due to his 7-game suspension (6 games will be in the playoffs), is going to be yet another obstacle in the path towards Kobe’s 6th title. The Lakers still have Pau Gasol; his floppy-arms and goofy expressions are enjoyable for bloggers, but you won’t find as polished a big man in all of the NBA. Then there’s Andrew Bynum; he is almost as inscrutable as MWP. Mike Brown will have to find a way (and quickly) to get the best out of Jim Buss’ boy, Bynum. How the Lakers big men perform might not decide the series though. The backcourt of Denver is tough, and Gallinari may kill them with MWP out. Ramon Sessions is gonna have to play really well to match Denver’s youthful backcourt, and Sessions has never before had this type of pressure and intensity on an NBA basketball court. If all things were equal, I’d give it to Denver, but Kobe Bryant is still Kobe Bryant. He will win some games on his own, and give LA just enough to advance.
Head to Head this season - Lakers won 3-1
Prediction
Lakers in 7.
Schedule
Game 1 - Sun. April 29, Denver at L.A. Lakers, 3:30 p.m./12:30 p.m., ABC/R
Game 2 - Tue. May 1, Denver at L.A. Lakers, 10:30 p.m./7:30 p.m., TNT
Game 3 - Fri May 4, L.A. Lakers at Denver, 10:30 p.m./7:30 p.m., ESPN
Game 4 - Sun. May 6, L.A. Lakers at Denver, 9:30 p.m./7:30 p.m., TNT
Game 5 * Tue. May 8, Denver at L.A. Lakers, TBD
Game 6 * Thu. May 10, L.A. Lakers at Denver, TBD
Game 7 * Sat. May 12, Denver at L.A. Lakers, TBD, TNT
You know what Denver lacks? An exploding player (or explosive. Fuck you, I’m hungover). That’s not to say they don’t have guys who can put up 30 once in a while, they just don’t have the night-after-night guy who’s going to take over a game. The Lakers have two, in Kobe and Bynum. Yeah, I said Bynum is a take-over-the-game guy. Because he is. I think he’s the best center in the game right now, certainly in the West. Whether or not he can keep his head on his shoulders beyond this season is a question mark, but that’s kind of the beauty of this Lakers team, and what makes it a better team than last year: they’re all in. They’re hungrier than they’ve been in a couple years (Kobe excluded, as he is always hungry (insert fat Drew Bynum joke here)) and they’re running like a very well-oiled machine.
And here’s the thing not a lot of people are talking about: the Lakers, for as much razzing as that bench gets, are the more talented team. They’re just better! They have three perennial All-Stars (or at least very, very, very good players) in Gasol, Kobe, and Bynum, and had Sessions been with this team from the start of the season, he’d be an All-Star too. Then you have a defensive player on a hot streak (Barnes), a couple of minute-hungry young guns (Ebanks, GOD-LOCK) and three big dudes who aren’t totally worthless (J-Mac, Murph, and Hill). I do think this Nuggets team is smart enough and has enough talent to steal one game at home, but this Lakers team is just the better team. Nuff said.
Prediction
Lakers in 5
