SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: Baller Shots on ThatsGlitchy.com! →
So it turns out people actually want me to write for them! It’s pretty neat. I’m going to be doing humorous coverage of sports for ThatsGlitchy.com, and my first article -about the fateful Game 5 on Monday night- is now up. Here’s an excerpt:
But what I saw wasn’t so much basketball as it was a circus. Pau Gasol reading Bridges to Terabithia on the bench while getting his feet massaged by what I hope is the team’s physical trainer. Andrew Bynum is practicing three pointers while wearing sunglasses… and he misses every shot. My acquaintance from earlier, Metta World Peace, is missing. The rumors amongst the press are numerous. Some say he’s joined a ragtag team of Ghostbusters to rid the Skirvin Hotel of ghosts once and for all. Others say he’s transformed into the Incredible Hulk, and is currently demolishing Salt Lake City, though my Mormon contact in Provo says they haven’t heard anything… yet. I decide to find head coach Mike Brown to get some answers, only to find he’s staged some sort of bare knuckle brawl between Steve Blake and Ramon Sessions to see who will start, with the rest of the team betting on winners, as if they were members of the crowd during the opening scene of Rambo: First Blood Part II.
Funny? Then go check it out, and let me know what you think!
This looks like a scene from the abandoned Yet Another 48 Hrs.
“Wait, you’re still black? And I’m still white? THIS IS CRAAAAAAAAAZY!”
(Source: upnorthtrips)
“YEAH! YEAH! Let’s go make some Boston Tea Party puns! It’s gonna be great! Here’s one: Willie Green Tea! Get it? It’s like a guy’s name but also the tea!”
You know what? This guy is probably way more imaginative than I am at making puns. He deserves nothing but the best in life.
EDIT: Willie Green doesn’t play for the Sixers anymore, does he? Sigh. I told you I’m not good at puns.
(pic via FuckYeaNBA)
Pau: “I miss your body”
Derek: “Aaaaand the hug’s over”
Devin Ebanks knows what’s up.
(Source: fuckyeahlakers)
I love Inside the NBA
You guys remember that time an alien played basketball?
No, not The Shooter from Saturn. I’m talkin’ Chris Bosh, baby!
Seriously, he looks like if old Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was somehow young. It’s creepy.
He looks creepy.
(Source: thegrandarchives)
GAH! I keep forgetting he has those tattoos. Props to KD for deliberately getting coverable tattoos so old white sportswriters wouldn’t judge him based on his ink.
Shit, if he came into the draft with tats like that all over his arms, they’d probably make up some bullshit about how he has “character issues”. That’s what they do. People are STILL biased against the inked citizens of this nation. Just ask my boy John Embry.
(pic via 24seconds)
